So Diwali is here; meeting people, eating sweets and niceties are the order of the day. But how far can you go to abide by niceties. Also I personally have always been averse to obligations and formalities. I often fail to satisfy others need for social conventions and people often fail to consider my sensitivity.
For example when my aunt's dog died, whom she was very close to, I didn't give my condolences because on our very active family group everybody wished her, and by everybody I mean nearly 20 people. I didn't say anything because I didn't think my condolences would make any difference, I didn't think that it would comfort her or make her feel any better. Also I didn't know that she would even notice that I haven't said a thing, but apparently she did. And even told me how it was wrong of me to do that. I honestly apologized.
Then another day a cousin asked me to take a night suit which belonged to her. But I quit wearing night suits a while back and my current place is quite small to accomodate things, let alone things that I don't want. Hence I as politely as possible, declined. But that didn't suit her.
So in these scenarios I wonder what I should do. Just do something because the other wants it to be done or stick to what I think is right. What if what I think is right offends people? How many people do I offend before realizing that if everything is against you maybe you are in the wrong path? How long do I dwell in this dilemma?
Also conversely when I expect others to do something for me, they conveniently refuse. Excuses or even valid reasons they may have but at the end of the day it only ends up hurting me.
Can we really ever get out of this rut of doing and not doing things for each other? I guess not!
For example when my aunt's dog died, whom she was very close to, I didn't give my condolences because on our very active family group everybody wished her, and by everybody I mean nearly 20 people. I didn't say anything because I didn't think my condolences would make any difference, I didn't think that it would comfort her or make her feel any better. Also I didn't know that she would even notice that I haven't said a thing, but apparently she did. And even told me how it was wrong of me to do that. I honestly apologized.
Then another day a cousin asked me to take a night suit which belonged to her. But I quit wearing night suits a while back and my current place is quite small to accomodate things, let alone things that I don't want. Hence I as politely as possible, declined. But that didn't suit her.
So in these scenarios I wonder what I should do. Just do something because the other wants it to be done or stick to what I think is right. What if what I think is right offends people? How many people do I offend before realizing that if everything is against you maybe you are in the wrong path? How long do I dwell in this dilemma?
Also conversely when I expect others to do something for me, they conveniently refuse. Excuses or even valid reasons they may have but at the end of the day it only ends up hurting me.
Can we really ever get out of this rut of doing and not doing things for each other? I guess not!
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